An Update On Things

Well now. It's been a while since I've touched this website. Let's fix that, shall we?

I know what you're probably thinking. Why not make a Pillowfort account or upload stuff to Medium, Substack, or whatever? First of all, I've been burned by CoHost before and I don't think Pillowfort is going to last in the long run. Enshittification comes for every online platform eventually. I have no doubt this will happen to my Neocities site, but at least I can download the html and css files, back them up and move them elsewhere if needed.

Secondly, I'm not doing any editorial work or anything professional here. I do have a section on my site specifically for articles I write, which will go there whenever I can be bothered to update everything. I'm the meantime, these posts are just my stray thoughts on whatever comes to my mind. I will not promise they will be coherent or enjoyable to read.

But I'm not here to bog anyone down with empty promises of things to do later. I wanted to talk about how I'm doing. What have I been up to lately? How have I been feeling? I don't really have an honest answer. Existing, I guess? I dunno. A lot of the following paragraphs are stray thoughts. Maybe I'll expand on some of these later.

I feel like doing anything in my life takes an enormous amount of effort. I told myself (and people on social media) that I was going to make an album by the end of the year. One track per month. You want to know how many I made so far? Two. TWO. So I guess that's that New Year's Resolution in the bin.

Then there was the work experience program I wanted to apply for. All I needed to do was change my resume a bit and then submit everything, but I procrastinated as per usual. And by the time I decided to get around to it, I realized I had the dates wrong and the due date was already up.

And on top of that, the lease for my apartment is ending in December. Both of my current roommates are moving out and I need to figure out a solution ASAP. I don't wanna be stuck in the apartment forever, but moving is such a tremendous pain in the ass. I did get in contact with someone recently about a place I might be able to move into that's closer to work, cheaper than the rent I'm paying, and not too far from where I currently live, so I'll have to follow up with them.

I don't talk about family stuff much outside of a few friends, but last April one of my Mom's cousins had a stroke. She was actually diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple months prior to that. Her speech has slowed down and she slurred when she talks. She's been in a couple different hospitals since then, unable to speak on her own most of the time. The best we can manage is have her send texts and we read them. I've been trying to visit her as much as I can ever since, but I don't feel it's often enough.

I've never been good at processing death. I've never even watched my own pets be put down because it distressed me so much. The only funeral I attended in my life was for my grandmother a decade ago. I couldn't bear to visit people in the hospital before because I've been so scared that I'd watch them die in front of me. I'm trying to change that now. If I don't start facing this head on and be there for the people who need it most, how can I expect anyone to be there for me when I go?

Don't worry, I don't plan on ending it all and I never will. I've simply had thoughts about what could happen after I die. But that's a blog post for another day.

But it's not all bad. It's not like I've been sitting around the past couple months doing nothing. I've been working on an addon pack for the Cobblemon mod. It's a Minecraft mod that adds Pokemon to Minecraft. My mod adds costumes for Incineroar because of course that would be my first mod. I've got a few more costumes in the works that I can hopefully add to the pack soon.

So yeah. That's kind of where I'm at now. I'll be at Megaplex later in August. I don't normally talk about where I'll be going, but I kind of let that cat out of the bag when I started asking around for room space online. Beyond that, I don't really announce where I'm going because I like to keep people guessing.

I'd like to try and keep this site updated with blog posts from time to time. Once I figure out how to add more functions to the site I can hopefully make the blog section look nicer.

Until then.